This will be me.... all week.
Tread softly...
Monday, June 22, 2015
Sunday, June 21, 2015
thoughts about swimming and my dad
This morning I drove out to meet a couple of friends to try my hand at the 1 mile open water swim at Lake Holiday. The OWS that all my teammates completed a few weeks ago...
I had not had the opportunity to try swimming in a wetsuit, as until recently, I could not get the sleeve up my arm without tearing open the stitches in my elbow. So this was my first open water mile, and my first swim in a wetsuit. It was windy and the lake was a little choppy... so, lots of challenges.
I learned that although the wetsuit makes you more buoyant, it also changes the angle at which your head enters the water. And, it made it very difficult for me to swim freestyle. The sleeves are very constrictive.
When I had my fall, I not only opened my elbow... somehow I managed to displace my scapula, which has impacted the movement of my left arm.
Mid-way through the swim, I had to remove the wetsuit as it was unbearably uncomfortable. Although the stitches are out and the wound has healed, there are points around the elbow which are still very tender to the touch, and the constant squeeze of the wetsuit was hitting all of those points.
The rest of the swim was slow and steady. My friends finished the mile a good 20 minutes ahead of me... but I did it.
When I called my dad this evening, to wish him a happy Father's Day, he asked me how my training is going... and reminded me how far I've come since he came to visit in April.
Dad and I went to the pool together one evening while he was here. And he gave me several pointers that have really helped me out. Notably to slow down. He used to swim competitively when he was a teenager, long distance lake swimming, where slow and steady is the way to go...
A couple years ago my dad started having seizures, which wound up being a symptom of an enormous brain tumor. One that had evidently been growing for years. It caused his skull to bulge until it could bulge no further outward, and was now putting pressure inward, pressing on the main artery (which was causing the seizures).
Fortunately, the tumor was benign. Unfortunately, the trauma of the surgery resulted in impaired motor function on the left side of his body. So he has not been able to be active. But in the pool, swimming for the first time in a couple years, he was liberated... It wasn't smooth, it wasn't pretty, but he did it... And it made him feel good. You could see it written all over his face. It made him feel mobile. It made him feel in control of his body. It made him feel like himself.
And I was so inspired and motivate by that. By him.
Today, when I was swimming in the lake... it wasn't smooth. It wasn't pretty. But I did it. And although it wasn't liberating for me, it made me feel capable.
That is not to say that I'm not nervous or anxious... but I am capable.
One week from today, I WILL complete the Philadelphia TriRock Olympic Triathlon.
I had not had the opportunity to try swimming in a wetsuit, as until recently, I could not get the sleeve up my arm without tearing open the stitches in my elbow. So this was my first open water mile, and my first swim in a wetsuit. It was windy and the lake was a little choppy... so, lots of challenges.
I learned that although the wetsuit makes you more buoyant, it also changes the angle at which your head enters the water. And, it made it very difficult for me to swim freestyle. The sleeves are very constrictive.
When I had my fall, I not only opened my elbow... somehow I managed to displace my scapula, which has impacted the movement of my left arm.
Mid-way through the swim, I had to remove the wetsuit as it was unbearably uncomfortable. Although the stitches are out and the wound has healed, there are points around the elbow which are still very tender to the touch, and the constant squeeze of the wetsuit was hitting all of those points.
The rest of the swim was slow and steady. My friends finished the mile a good 20 minutes ahead of me... but I did it.
When I called my dad this evening, to wish him a happy Father's Day, he asked me how my training is going... and reminded me how far I've come since he came to visit in April.
Dad and I went to the pool together one evening while he was here. And he gave me several pointers that have really helped me out. Notably to slow down. He used to swim competitively when he was a teenager, long distance lake swimming, where slow and steady is the way to go...
A couple years ago my dad started having seizures, which wound up being a symptom of an enormous brain tumor. One that had evidently been growing for years. It caused his skull to bulge until it could bulge no further outward, and was now putting pressure inward, pressing on the main artery (which was causing the seizures).
Fortunately, the tumor was benign. Unfortunately, the trauma of the surgery resulted in impaired motor function on the left side of his body. So he has not been able to be active. But in the pool, swimming for the first time in a couple years, he was liberated... It wasn't smooth, it wasn't pretty, but he did it... And it made him feel good. You could see it written all over his face. It made him feel mobile. It made him feel in control of his body. It made him feel like himself.
And I was so inspired and motivate by that. By him.
Today, when I was swimming in the lake... it wasn't smooth. It wasn't pretty. But I did it. And although it wasn't liberating for me, it made me feel capable.
That is not to say that I'm not nervous or anxious... but I am capable.
One week from today, I WILL complete the Philadelphia TriRock Olympic Triathlon.
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
triathlon training interrupted due to accident
so, i've had a week off training because i had an accident last Monday. how's that for timing? after being so elated from my Sunday night swim, i was feeling invigorated and enthusiastic and raring to go with the next few weeks of training.
no, i did not get hit by a car, or fall off my bike. i did not trip over a root on the trail, or have a close encounter with a snake in the lake (yeah, freaked me out when i learned there are snakes hanging out in the lake)....
i injured myself whilst out walking.
yes, you read that correctly.
my triathlon training has been temporarily derailed because i fell over one of my dogs and split my elbow open... received a tetanus shot, some stitches and doctor's orders to stay out of the water for a week, and out of the lake until after the stitches come out (4 more days!)
we had a mini practice tri on Saturday in Leesburg, and that was the first time i'd done anything other than fall over in a week. all things considered, it went pretty well!
the arm is still black and blue and sore... and there is some limitation on range of motion, but i still managed the 500 metre swim (in the pool).
then a 10 mile ride and a 2.5 mile run and it was great!
Sunday morning we had an open water swim scheduled, but as the doctor (and my coaches) strongly discourage me swimming in the lake with an open wound... I just took pictures of my teammates and their remarkable efforts.
I'm really sad that I was not able to participate, but I will try my hand at it next weekend, as long as the doc that removes my stitches gives me the go-ahead.
Our race is less than 3 weeks away... starting to get excited!
I'm still about $250 shy of my fundraising commitment, and $650 shy of my fundraising goal. so if you're feeling flush and want to make a donation... please follow the link to my fundraising website (located in the upper right corner of the page).
Thanks in advance!
no, i did not get hit by a car, or fall off my bike. i did not trip over a root on the trail, or have a close encounter with a snake in the lake (yeah, freaked me out when i learned there are snakes hanging out in the lake)....
i injured myself whilst out walking.
yes, you read that correctly.
my triathlon training has been temporarily derailed because i fell over one of my dogs and split my elbow open... received a tetanus shot, some stitches and doctor's orders to stay out of the water for a week, and out of the lake until after the stitches come out (4 more days!)
we had a mini practice tri on Saturday in Leesburg, and that was the first time i'd done anything other than fall over in a week. all things considered, it went pretty well!
the arm is still black and blue and sore... and there is some limitation on range of motion, but i still managed the 500 metre swim (in the pool).
then a 10 mile ride and a 2.5 mile run and it was great!
Sunday morning we had an open water swim scheduled, but as the doctor (and my coaches) strongly discourage me swimming in the lake with an open wound... I just took pictures of my teammates and their remarkable efforts.
I'm really sad that I was not able to participate, but I will try my hand at it next weekend, as long as the doc that removes my stitches gives me the go-ahead.
 |
| 2015 summer Tri Team In Training participants doing open water swim |
Our race is less than 3 weeks away... starting to get excited!
I'm still about $250 shy of my fundraising commitment, and $650 shy of my fundraising goal. so if you're feeling flush and want to make a donation... please follow the link to my fundraising website (located in the upper right corner of the page).
Thanks in advance!
Thursday, June 4, 2015
racing toward that cancer free finish line
My friend Jeff, who I've mentioned in previous blog posts, is currently getting the last of his ducks in a row before starting the process of getting a stem cell transplant. He will be writing about the experience as it progresses... So, if you're interested in reading, you can do so right here
http://jefftransplantjourney.blogspot.com/
My teammates and I are all rooting for you, Jeff!! When we're digging deep on race day, looking for the strength and energy to keep moving toward the finish line, we'll be thinking of you and taking inspiration from your strength and determination to reach your own return-to-good-health, cancer free "finish line"!!
This season alone we have raised over $100,000 to sustain the work of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society... to fund life saving research, and to maintain patient support programs.
http://jefftransplantjourney.blogspot.com/
My teammates and I are all rooting for you, Jeff!! When we're digging deep on race day, looking for the strength and energy to keep moving toward the finish line, we'll be thinking of you and taking inspiration from your strength and determination to reach your own return-to-good-health, cancer free "finish line"!!
This season alone we have raised over $100,000 to sustain the work of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society... to fund life saving research, and to maintain patient support programs.
Sunday, May 31, 2015
tonight i swam a mile
Last season, when I was marathon training, I updated this blog almost every day. It's not difficult for me to write about running, or to write about the people in whose honour or memory I continue to train with TNT...
But this season, it's been incredibly hard. Let me tell you why...
Until today, I didn't actually have the confidence in my ability to swim the course. I was afraid that I was going to have to admit I couldn't do it. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to actually complete the swim, that I would not be able to complete the race...
That fear has tempered my excitement and enjoyment of training this season. And it has made me not want to write.... I didn't want every post to give voice to my fear of drowning, my fear of failure... And so, I've hardly written at all.
I took swim lessons at the local pool, but once the lessons ended, I found it incredibly difficult to get myself to the pool to swim lengths on my own. I had such anxiety about the team practices that I made myself sick. I had panic attacks in the pool where I would get the shakes and hyperventilate so badly that I could hardly breathe. One night I threw up. There have often been tears in the car on the drive home.
Things got a little better when I started swimming in the lake near my house. It's peaceful there. There is no side of the pool to cling to, and so it is easier to just keep moving. But still, team swim practices with so many other swimmers (no matter how sympathetic or supportive) have continued to be enormously stressful.
This past week has been a rough week for me. My autoimmune condition has flared, and so I've been struggling with overwhelming fatigue and painful joints. I took three days off training, but then was stressing about missing the practices. Stress is like gasoline to the fire for many people with autoimmune conditions. So I've been battling with my need to rest and relax and give my body time to heal, and with my fear of falling behind on training, and of not being able to achieve this goal.
Saturday morning we had a 2 hour ride and 15 minute run on a very hilly course, and a hot and humid day. It was a struggle. I was not able to go as far as I had gone the week before, in a shorter period of time. And so, it's no surprise that I anticipated this evening's swim workout was not going to go terrifically well. Frankly, I was dreading it...
This evening's team swim practice was a five minute warm up... and then 64 lengths of the pool. One mile, non-stop, swimming until you got it done no matter how long it took.
I got into the pool already struggling to control my anxiety. The lane lines had been removed, and the water was getting choppy from all my teammates warming up. By the end of the first 3 lengths of the pool, I was breathless and starting to panic... so I slowed everything down. I did a lap in my recovery stroke and caught my breath. And just kept going. And going. And going.
Until I had completed 54 lengths of the pool and started to believe that I actually might be able to do it.
I kept swimming, concentrating on counting down the lengths... until I reached 64. Then I stopped at the wall and burst into tears.
Tears of relief. Tears of happiness.
As of today, I finally have the confidence that I will be able to do this. Not only am I capable of swimming the distance, but I was able to do it in 41 minutes, 40 seconds. Well below the cut-off time.
In 4 weeks time, I will complete my first triathlon. I finally believe that is possible.
I am so enormously grateful for the support and guidance of the awesome Team In Training coaches. I would never have got to this point without them.
But this season, it's been incredibly hard. Let me tell you why...
Until today, I didn't actually have the confidence in my ability to swim the course. I was afraid that I was going to have to admit I couldn't do it. I was afraid that I was not going to be able to actually complete the swim, that I would not be able to complete the race...
That fear has tempered my excitement and enjoyment of training this season. And it has made me not want to write.... I didn't want every post to give voice to my fear of drowning, my fear of failure... And so, I've hardly written at all.
I took swim lessons at the local pool, but once the lessons ended, I found it incredibly difficult to get myself to the pool to swim lengths on my own. I had such anxiety about the team practices that I made myself sick. I had panic attacks in the pool where I would get the shakes and hyperventilate so badly that I could hardly breathe. One night I threw up. There have often been tears in the car on the drive home.
Things got a little better when I started swimming in the lake near my house. It's peaceful there. There is no side of the pool to cling to, and so it is easier to just keep moving. But still, team swim practices with so many other swimmers (no matter how sympathetic or supportive) have continued to be enormously stressful.
This past week has been a rough week for me. My autoimmune condition has flared, and so I've been struggling with overwhelming fatigue and painful joints. I took three days off training, but then was stressing about missing the practices. Stress is like gasoline to the fire for many people with autoimmune conditions. So I've been battling with my need to rest and relax and give my body time to heal, and with my fear of falling behind on training, and of not being able to achieve this goal.
Saturday morning we had a 2 hour ride and 15 minute run on a very hilly course, and a hot and humid day. It was a struggle. I was not able to go as far as I had gone the week before, in a shorter period of time. And so, it's no surprise that I anticipated this evening's swim workout was not going to go terrifically well. Frankly, I was dreading it...
This evening's team swim practice was a five minute warm up... and then 64 lengths of the pool. One mile, non-stop, swimming until you got it done no matter how long it took.
I got into the pool already struggling to control my anxiety. The lane lines had been removed, and the water was getting choppy from all my teammates warming up. By the end of the first 3 lengths of the pool, I was breathless and starting to panic... so I slowed everything down. I did a lap in my recovery stroke and caught my breath. And just kept going. And going. And going.
Until I had completed 54 lengths of the pool and started to believe that I actually might be able to do it.
I kept swimming, concentrating on counting down the lengths... until I reached 64. Then I stopped at the wall and burst into tears.
Tears of relief. Tears of happiness.
As of today, I finally have the confidence that I will be able to do this. Not only am I capable of swimming the distance, but I was able to do it in 41 minutes, 40 seconds. Well below the cut-off time.
In 4 weeks time, I will complete my first triathlon. I finally believe that is possible.
I am so enormously grateful for the support and guidance of the awesome Team In Training coaches. I would never have got to this point without them.
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Wine?
- Do you like drinking wine?
- Are you free on Saturday night?
- Would you like the chance to take a whole lot of wine home with you on Saturday night??
We'll provide drinks, snacks, pool table, stellar conversation, etc...
At 10pm, we'll draw a name and the winner will take home all of the wine.
ARE YOU IN???
If you are not able to attend, but would still like to make a donation... you can do so here:
http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/philtri15/mtataje
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
open water swimming - it's not as scary as i thought
I faced my fears last night and did my first open water swim practice on
the lake near my house... as you can see, we have heavy pollen at the
moment, but it was a beautiful warm evening and very quiet out on the
lake. Started the swim feeling scared but determined, and finished
feeling elated... can't wait to do it again!
 |
| Lake Jackson - May 12 (no wetsuit required, thankfully!) |
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